


In Which Eren and Annie are like Overgrown Cats

by Eurasian_Lynx



Series: Gods Of War [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: And weird Annie and Levi bonding I guess, Eren Is Still a Little Shit, Eren Is a Little Shit, Hange goes overboard some times, Hange is a little shit, Humor, Mild Gore, Now with broccoli, Pinatas, The return of the piñata, This fic now involves AUs outside of Gods of War, Titan Annie Leonhart, Titan Eren Yeager, Titan Shifters, Titan Zeke (Shingeki no Kyojin), Titan Zeke Yeager, pure silliness, this is one of those times
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2018-10-22 21:33:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10705554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eurasian_Lynx/pseuds/Eurasian_Lynx
Summary: Hanje has an absolutely wonderful idea to see if there is any way to attract a Titan's attention other than using a human being. Levi is there to ensure she doesn't go overboard. It seems to work, sort of.





	1. Piñatas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RedCoaster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedCoaster/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Rogue](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2802785) by [RedCoaster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedCoaster/pseuds/RedCoaster). 



> This is dedicated to RedCoaster as I was reading her lovely story Rogue at the time that I had this silly idea! It has no plot and no real purpose other than to be silly, and was maybe, maybe not inspired by Big Cats vs. Piñatas! What can I say, it's always funny to be reminded that a cat is a cat, big or small.
> 
> Lol, I hope you all appreciate this pointless silliness, and please forgive any mistakes. This is entirely un-betaed and was written in a single go, so there will almost definitely be issues! Either way, I hope you enjoy this silly little story. <3

It was shaping up to be a long day for a certain Corporal when one Section Commander came roaring in with, in her own words, "The greatest idea since letting Levi into the Scouts."

His day so far had consisted of the man having been forcefully woken up before dawn by a far too excited Hange, after he had only gone to sleep sometime after midnight. She then promptly hauled him out of bed, and everything else that occurred had been nothing more than a blur of her chatter and his self-restraint in not punching her. He was currently sitting in Erwin's office, head propped up on his hand as he didn't even bother to hide the fact that he was dozing off. Half-lidded eyes blearily noted the beginning hints of dawn on the horizon, and he halfheartedly wondered if Erwin would allow him to go back to bed in the near future, given as the man himself looked to be just as miserable. The bags under his eyes were incredibly prominent, having been doing nothing but paperwork regarding the last expedition for several days. It looked like their Commander could do with a few more hours of rest himself, or a few more days.

He half swore that the blond man kept opening his mouth to try and get a word in edgewise, but he kept falling short and being unable to produce more than few syllables against the intensity that was Hange's excitement.

"-so since they like humans and all, what if we made one in the shape of a human? That way, they might be fooled into thinking it was a human being, or if we put old clothes inside of it they might catch the scent of human and go after it thinking that there's humans inside! Then, we could keep them distracted without having to put anyone in danger! And who knows-!"

She didn't stop.

Levi was beginning to wonder if maybe Hange should have been a singer instead of a Scout, she certainly seemed to have the lung capacity for it. But then he remembered having heard her singing to herself while writing up a report several weeks ago, and had remembered the protests heard around the castle of 'someone put that cat out of its misery.'

He decided that no, entertainment had never been on the table for the woman. Although maybe she could have been a politician, they always talked for hours on end without ever managing to say anything, she'd fit right in.

As Levi was slowly sinking lower and lower on Erwin's desk, lost in his own thoughts, neither the Commander or scientist seemed to notice. Or if they did, they didn't say anything. Erwin held up a hand, clearing his throat pointedly in order to get Hange to stop speaking.

She ground to a halt, somehow managing a whole other sentence it her chatter before stopping, an innocent smile on her face.

"Yes, Erwin?"

The blond man didn't say anything, taking a moment to let his eyes slide shut as he took a deep breath, propping his elbows up on the table as he laced his fingers before his face. It was all quiet for several moments, Levi falling further and further into repose as Erwin sat there, thinking. (or perhaps sleeping)

"Hange, your idea has some merits. So long as you use your own money and none of the official Scouts money, you have the go ahead."

Levi's arm hit the desk as he was startled out of his rest, hand thudding against the wood painfully. He shot upright, fully awake and not even noticing the pain. The messy-haired woman looked like she was about to explode from joy.

"Erwin you can't be serio-"

"YES!"

The excited shout echoing from the Commander's office quickly drowned out whatever the shorter man had been attempting to say.

~~~

“Hange you are not recruiting the Scouts for your paper-mache project.”

“But we need a lot of labor if we’re going to get this piñata done in a reasonable amount of time!”

“No.”

“I’ll buy you cleaning supplies for a week.~”

“...No.”

“Two weeks.”

“Deal.”

~~~

And it was the result of that conversation that found one Levi Ackerman with his sleeves up to his elbows, cloth over his nose and mouth as he dunked strips of waste paper into the thick, glue-like substance. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure he wanted to know how Hanje had managed to throw together the crudely shaped cardboard that she had, but he suspected it had something to do with the strange amount of exhaustion he’d been seeing in the new recruits as of late…

The object was human shaped, in the vaguest sense of the word.

It had a head, a body, two arms, and two legs. That was really all that could be said for it in terms of artistic skill, but even he had to grudgingly admit that it was at least a well done job. Despite it’s lack of aesthetic appeal, it was sturdy and strong. Well, as sturdy as cardboard could be, anyways.

It seemed as though she’d gone out of her way to ensure all the pieces were secure as they were glued together, meaning that Levi had nothing to fear for breaking it as he plastered his strips of paper to its sides. Not that he would have complained had it broken, of course.

He wasn’t really sure where the woman had managed to find this much tan colored paper either, but it was at least vaguely close to some human skin tones.

He wrinkled his nose at the disgusting substance that was beginning to cake onto his arms, wanting nothing more than to go scrub his limbs raw and maybe throw in a shower on top of that just to make sure everything was clean.

Well, at least he wasn’t one of the poor souls having to load old clothing into the object. Although that may have been that everyone knew that if he had been the one to do that, he would have washed the clothing instead, making sure it was clean and fresh before allowing it to touch the piñata. Which would have completely destroyed the purpose of it.

He still scowled as he slapped another strip of paper onto the cardboard creation, wondering how much longer this would take. It was nearly 3 meters long.

~~~

To be fair, the expedient way in which the Garrison had managed to fashion an extending catwalk leading out from the wall was quite impressive. An extending, sturdy one no less.

“Guess the fact that they never have anything to do pays off from time to time.”

Hange slapped his arm as the two of them peered over the hastily installed safety railing.

“Levi be nice, they did a good job.”

“Hey, I wasn’t saying that they didn’t.”

The shorter man glared up at the playfully scowling woman, eyes as sharp as daggers as the two had a stare-off on the top of the wooden catwalk.

The Garrsion had managed to get a whole construction crew together, creating a 10 meter extension walkway from the wall that could hold several thousand pounds, secured by a system of ropes and weights that tied down to the ground on the inner side of Wall Rose. It was honestly an impressive feat of engineering, given how they had had less than a week to do it.

But it looked more than a little ridiculous as of now, a massive, vaguely human-shaped paper mache object that looked like the result of some Titan’s arts and crafts project being slowly lowered over the edge, old 3DMG cables being used to secure it to both the wall and catwalk.

Slowly but surely, the group that was a mixture of Garrison and Scouts lowered it to rest about 20 meters off the ground below, dangling over the Titan infested lands of Wall Maria. There were a few Titans in sight, having congregated below due to the presence of human beings on top. A handful of 5 meters, with one or two 8-9 meters hanging around. Levi could distantly see the approaching form of a 15 meter abnormal, and could only cock a brow at the way the stupid thing was running.

The group responsible for handling the piñata retreated back to the safety of the wall’s top, leaving just Levi and Hange standing on the catwalk, the scientist leaning so far over the railing that it was a miracle she wasn’t Titan-chow yet.

She was holding her breath, watching the Titans below with wide eyes as she waited to see how they would react to the new addition to their environment.

They…

Didn’t.

Levi couldn’t say he was surprised. Titans were all a bunch of mindless, drooling idiots, as evidenced by how they remained below the duo, clawing pathetically at the wall with glazed, stupid expression. Hange, however, looked positively deflated.

Just as Levi was about to suggest the haul the damn thing back up and get the clothes out of it so they could be washed, Hange turned the saddest possible puppy-dog eyes on him that she was capable of producing.

“Do you think we could leave it overnight? See if the smell just needs some time to get their attention?”

He knew he wouldn’t hear the end of it for days if he said no now, besides, now he had an excuse to clean up the Garrison’s spare barracks, making sure that they were up to his standards.

~~~

Levi was clutching a warm cup of coffee as he walked back out to the catwalk in the grey light of dawn, having been up late into the night ensuring that all the Garrison soldiers he had forced into cleaning were doing their jobs right. He wasn’t sure how much rest he’d gotten, but he was still sure it wasn’t enough. So if anyone asked, he would say he was only awake to keep Hange from waking him up herself.

(Although he’d never admit it, he himself was a little curious to see if the Titans were distracted by the human scented object dangling above their heads.)

As he approached the wooden structure, he spied a certain messy-haired woman already wide awake, leaning over the railing in anticipation. Her face didn’t seem to be changing, and she seemed to be looking at one spot in particular, so she must not have been waiting for any Titans to show up, evidently they were already there.

He took a large swig of the dark, bitter liquid, feeling something resembling wakefulness surge through his veins, almost beginning to feel like a human being as the substance coursed through his system. His booted feet thudded across the wooden boards, approaching the scientist in a manner far more lackadaisical than would normally be seen from him.

He blamed it on not having had enough coffee yet. The man casually reclined against the safety railing, looking at the scientist rather than below.

“So, what’s new, Shitty-Glasses? They enjoying it?”

The woman didn’t seem to hear him, continuing to stare off into the distance with that transfixed look on her face. Levi was about to repeat the question when she slowly turned to look at him, expression never changing.

“See for yourself.”

Quirking a brow, the man pushed himself off of the railing with his elbows, turning to look over it instead.

And almost dropping his cup.

All the Titans were gone, all of them.

Except two.

Standing in the field, a ways away from the piñata but still clearly close enough to be considered too close by Scout standards, were a pair of abnormal Titans. Two Titans the Scouts had become rather familiar with over the years.

The Rogue Titan and The Female Titan, always seen together, perfectly harmless unless provoked. They looked nothing like any Titan anyone had ever seen before, nor did they look anything like each other. The only commonalities were the 15 (-ish, the Female was 14 meters) meter height, and the muscled bodies.

They didn’t act like any Titan ever seen before either, appearing utterly uninterested in human consumption. They never made a move to cause any human harm, unless severely provoked. The Female had proven more vicious than her partner, striking down the team that attempted to take her down upon first meeting, fighting back in self-defense. The Rogue had simply roared and tried to chase them away.

Over time the Scouts had managed to convey their full intent to leave the two be, and a sort of truce had formed, the Titans causing them no harm so long as no harm was caused in turn. It had resulted in some rather peculiar expeditions, the Scouts occasionally finding themselves with a Titan entourage, and occasionally finding their stuff being scrutinized by two hulking monstrosities.

It really had been awkward when the Rogue tried to follow them through the gate that one time, fortunately he’d been spooked by all the screaming that resulted when he got a hand through, and he quickly retreated.

They were uncannily intelligent for Titans, and certainly seemed to understand social dynamics, making them far more than abnormals. The reports only stated them as such, however.

Currently, the two of them were standing side by side, both looking at the human-shaped object dangling off of the catwalk. If Levi didn’t know any better, he’d say their eyes had looks of disdain.

No one was making taking action, the only movement present in the whole scene was Hange’s barely visible breathing, and Levi periodically taking a swig of his coffee.

“Well Shitty-Glasses, you certainly got their attention alright.”

Hange continued staring at the two abnormals for several moments, before she let out a massive sigh, practically deflating as she hung her arms and head over the edge of the railing. Her voice sounded utterly pathetic.

“I don’t understand, Levi. I was so sure it would work!”

He took a sip of his drink, continuing to stare out at the two figures in the distance, watching them as they watched the humans.

“Maybe those two brats scared them off, they always seem to have that effect. Natural Titan repellent, I tell you.”

Hange gave what could best be described as a distressed whine.

“But why aren’t they interested either! They’re always interested in everything!”

“To be fair, Shitty-Glasses, the thing smells fucking awful. It’s like a latrine.”

“But it smells like human!”

The short man just rolled his eyes, the attention of both Scouts suddenly captured by the sound of titanic footsteps. It seemed their two friends had grown bored with watching the human shaped object, and had chosen to head off somewhere else. Levi could only stare at their retreating forms before turning his gaze to the severely disappointed scientist next to him. He could only wonder how long it would be before they were dragged into some other scheme of hers.

~~~

It actually took her quite a while to get over the incident, long enough to where Levi almost began to feel human again due to catching up on some sleep. Unfortunately, the peace was not to last, as a little over a week later he was suddenly roused from sleep once again by a far too excited woman, and promptly dragged into the Commander’s office.

They had barely made it two steps in when they were met with an exhausted and miserable voice.

“I don’t care Hange, just do what you want.”

It seemed Erwin Smith had yet to be free of paperwork, the bags under his eyes having seemed to increase ten-fold since Levi last saw him. If the shorter man didn’t know any better, he’d say the twinge he felt in his chest as Hange pulled him away with an excited squeal was something almost resembling concern for the other man.

~~~

“Hange why do we have pink and green paper.”

It was a statement, not a question.

“For our next piñata, of course!”

“... Since when did humans have green skin?”

Hange laughed.

“We’re not making a human, silly! We’re making something else for our two friends! I figured, since our attempts at attracting regular Titans didn’t seem to work, I was thinking we could maybe try and do something for our two friends out there! See if we could get their attention and maybe learn a little more about them.~”

The man looked at the rapidly growing cardboard object the woman was working on, eyeing it with trepidation.

“So you’re making them a bigass cupcake to play with.”

“With colorful sprinkles on top to make it even more appealing!”

“Hange they are Titans not children.”

~~~

Levi couldn’t help but to feel like a fool as he helped Hange dangle a massive cupcake over the side of Wall Rose.

Here he was, Levi Ackerman, Humanity’s Strongest, former strongest thug in the underground, helping Shitty-Glasses set up a colorful piñata for titans.

What had his life come to.

“Oh come on Levi! They’re going to love it, I just know it!”

The messy-haired scientist looked to be on the verge of exploding from joy. Her cheeks were flushed with red as she helped load the last of the colorful stones and scrap pieces of metal into the massive object.

“We’ve seen them collecting bits and pieces of colorful and shiny things before, and this is one big colorful object filled with pretty things! They’ll love it, I’m sure of it!”

The brown-haired woman tapped her chin as she lowered her wicker basket, having poured the turquoise stones in already.

“Hmm… maybe that’s why they didn’t go after our human one, they didn’t like the smell of it and probably thought we were just mocking them by making it look like a person. That’s probably why they just stood there and stared at it.”

"You don't say."

"Levi, stop being rude."

~~~

“Levi! Levi, get up!”

The excited hissing coming from Hange was hardly enough to rouse the man from his bed, he was only even awake because he was a light sleeper. He pulled the pillow back over his head, voice muffled through the cloth.

“Go back to bed Hange, I don’t care if some stupid Titan is staring at your toy.”

“But it’s not just any titan, Levi! It’s the Rogue and Female, they’re watching it!”

A grey eye slowly slid open, the man’s gaze full of nothing but the desire to go back to sleep. Hange’s incessant shaking of him wasn’t allowing that. The short man sat up, swatting at her annoying hands as he yawned, finally giving in and dropping the pillow back down to the bed with a grumble.

“Alright, alright. I’m up, I’m up.”

There was an excited squeal as the scientist ran from the room, apparently eager to go back to her titan-watching. Levi slowly slid from the bed with a soft groan, grabbing a neatly folded shirt from nearby as he made to follow her out.

~~~

Well, she was right at least. The two overgrown brats were indeed at the base of the wall, staring up at the colorful object in the early morning light. No other titans could be seen from their position, although Levi wasn’t sure if that was due to the presence of the two abnormals or the early hour. These two brats were always up before everyone else.

He crossed his arms as he leaned on the safety railing that had hastily installed, head propped up on his crossed limbs. He stared down at the two idiots with a bored gaze.

Perhaps, at a better hour, he would have even called them impressive. Because objectively, for titans, they really were. 15 meters each, both bodies rippling with muscles, not a trace of fat in sight. Never mind the Rogue’s ghoulish teeth and the Female’s well, femininity. They’d never seen a female Titan before these two came along, nevermind one that lacked skin as she did.

Two sets of eyes were watching the piñata with thinly veiled interest, one emerald and one sapphire. They were just sitting there, legs crossed as they stared up at the colorful object, neither of them making a move.

Levi grumbled.

“Are they gonna do anything or are they just gonna sit there like idiots?”

Hange smacked his arm from where she was excitedly leaning over the railing, almost in danger of falling.

“Levi, don’t be so rude! They probably don’t know what to make of it!”

“It’s a bigass object just hanging in the sky, they’re supposed to be investigating it not just looking at it with those dumb expressions on their face.”

Again, the piñata had been lowered to hang a little under 20 meters above the ground, enough to where if the two 15 meters jumped, they could easily hit it. They were, frustratingly, not doing either of those things in the grey light of the early morning. They weren’t doing anything at all. They just kept sitting there.

The colorful object swung lightly in the breeze, filled with colorful stones and bits of worthless trash. For some reason these overgrown brats really liked shiny things, whether they were worthless or not. He distantly wondered why they even liked the objects, what purpose did they serve them?

More likely than not, they were just being the overgrown kids that they were, having no rhyme or reason to their actions, just sheer, dumb curiosity.

The ground suddenly trembled at movement, everyone atop the wall freezing as their gazes locked on the two titans who were standing up from their sitting positions on the ground, slowly beginning to approach the wall with footsteps like thunder. Their eyes were trained on the colorful, cupcake-like creation.

Hange squealed excitedly.

The two titans made their way to stand beneath it, looking directly up at the object that hung a short ways over their heads. They didn’t do anything.

As the minutes passed, Levi groaned quietly as he thought of sleep, wishing he could get back to it since it seemed the two idiots weren’t going to do anything.

Then suddenly, he was proven wrong.

A massive, clawed hand was slowly raised, the tips of the fingers just barely being able to scrape the bottom of the piñata if the Rogue stretched up fully. He pushed at it lightly, causing the object to bounce a little on its cord.

The Titan quickly redrew his hand like he’d been burned, eyes wide as he stared at the moving object. The Female’s gaze narrowed, before she too reached up, poking it with a little more force than her companion, causing it to sway further.

It bounced back and forth lightly, almost like it was doing a sort of jig above the two Titans. Levi really wished Shitty-Glasses would stop making those really disturbing breathing noises right next to him.

Suddenly, there was a flash of movement as the Rogue swiped at the dangling object, claws catching some of the looser paper and prying it off. The Titan held the small pieces of shredded paper up to his face, looking at it with wide-eyed interest. The Female took advantage of his distraction, leaping up to swipe at it herself. She had both arms raised, hitting the piñata with both hands, sending it swinging along its cords to bounce in the air.

It was gradually beginning to swing back towards her, and she reached up to bat at it with a hand, before bringing the other one up as she tried to get a firm hold of it. The ropes the giant, cupcake shaped object were attached to had too much momentum for her to do that successfully, the piñata bouncing in the wind and escaping her grasp as she swiped at it. She kept reaching up to grab at it, swinging several blows in its direction.

The Female used too much force in one of her hits, sending the object flying back towards the walls as it swung along its rope. She stood there, watching it with great interest as it swung back and over her head, the Rogue leaping into the air behind her to try and grab at it as she had, he too failing as it came arcing back towards the wall.

The Female reached up for it again, hitting at it and only successfully sending it upwards as her blow just scraped the bottom of the moving toy. It bounced back over to the Rogue, who leapt up to swipe at it dutifully, landing before jumping up again to smack it with a powerful blow that sent it off to the side. Both titans looks more alive and invested in their play than any of the Scouts had ever seen them, eyes shining with what they could only describe as excitement.

Hange didn’t even bother to try and muffle her excited screeching, even Levi momentarily stunned as he watched the two brats play like they were having the time of their lives with the stupid cupcake. Everyone else atop the wall was utterly silent in their open-mouthed shock.

The Female seemed to have stepped back to let the Rogue bat at it, the hideous Titan leaping up repeatedly to try and grab at it, finding that he was only really successful in sending it bouncing from side to side, his massive weight causing the ground to shake with each pounce.

It went swinging off to the side, the Rogue leaping after it. As it came back, the massive brat turned in place to try and bat at it once more, almost tripping over himself in his excitement to get the toy. He dropped back down to crouch on the ground, watching it for a moment with his chest expanding and deflating rapidly. Even up at the top of the wall, the Scouts and Garrison could all hear the grunt as the Female came over to take his place in batting at the object, the Rogue moving aside to give her room.

She seemed to be watching it with a calculating eye, opening her hand to spread out the fingers, waiting for the cupcake to come bouncing back towards her. It swung over her head, before beginning to make the return trip back over her. She leapt into the air, smacking at the piñata with her open palm.

The ropes broke, the Female knocking the piñata off of its cord to tumble to the ground below with the powerful blow from her hand. She attempted to grab at it with said hand as it fell, instead accidentally sending it flying further away from her for her efforts. She seemed to jump after it, although the movement was so small (relatively) it was more like a hop.

She had dropped to all fours in her pursuit with a trembling crash as the large object hit the ground, grabbing it in her mouth to bring it with her as she fell to her side. Rolling onto her back, piñata in mouth, she grabbed it with her hands, shaking her head viciously and ripping the paper mache and cardboard apart. Colorful objects came spilling out as she ripped into the toy, still thrashing her head as she ripped it apart.

She rolled back over onto her stomach, growling as she held most of it down with her hands, yanking her head upwards and back to rip it in half. She rolled back onto her back, continuing to wrestle with the toy, gradually destroying it further and further with playful growls as the Rogue jogged over, taking quite an interest in the objects that had spilled out onto the ground in his companion’s play.

There was a crash as he dropped to his hands and knees, peering at the stones and glinting pieces of metal as the Female continued to claw at the remains of the piñata. A stray piece of cardboard was blown over towards the Rogue by a breeze, catching his attention immediately. He swiped at it with a clawed hand, attention completely caught by the moving object.

Up above, Levi could barely think over Hange’s excited squealing as they watched the two abnormals play like children.

The man furrowed his brow. No, not like children at all…

“Well Shitty-Glasses, looks like your two overgrown brats are really just overgrown cats.”

~~~

Levi still wasn’t sure how they’d gotten permission for this to become a regular thing. All he knew was that someway, somehow, they had discovered that the Rogue had a very real love of pink colors and lighter shades of purple. He also really liked the ones that had streamers on them. This was evident as he chased after the piñata with those very colors on all fours, having already knocked it off its cords early on. He wasn’t quite as vicious as the Female, batting it around with his hands as he chased it rather than ripping it apart right off the bat.

The Female was lounging in the sun, sprawled out with a handful of metal scrap they’d filled the object with laying in front of her as she watched her companion play.

Humanity’s Strongest shook his head with a soft groan as he leaned onto the safety railing. He knew that these two brats were abnormals but honestly this was just ridiculous.


	2. Broccoli and Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Congrats you successfully coerced me into writing more you blasted comment leavers.

“Hange no.”

“Hange yes.”

“Hange don’t make me go to Erwin.”

“We both know Erwin’s too sleep-deprived to care.”

“I’ll shove coffee down his throat until he does. Again, _no._ ”

“Yes.”

_”No.”_

“Try and stop me, angry midget.”

~~~

Up in his office, far above the commotion that took place far below, the Commander of the Scouting Legion had his head resting on his desk, paperwork scattered all about him and ink stains on his fingers from filing so many documents.

He was halfway asleep when the insane laughter drifted up to his ears through the open window, which was meant to be letting in the soothing nighttime breeze and sound of distant cicadas. The laughter was followed by the sound of zipping wires and whirring gears.

Instead of garnering sleep, the man only sat up without opening his eyes, a groan of true despair rumbling in his chest as he propped his elbows on the desk, hands covering his eyes and ignoring the papers that had stuck to his forehead. They detached and drifted downwards either way.

He didn’t need to turn around and look behind him to know that down below he would see two figures whipping about the grounds on 3DMG, zipping about the outside of the castle and around the forest that surrounded them.

He didn’t need to look behind him to know that who the laughter was coming from, and exactly who her pursuer was. He didn’t need to look to know that the pursuer had his blades drawn.

He didn’t need to look to manage to inference what had happened.

Again.

Honestly, the Scouting Legion was supposed to be the hope of humanity. Instead, it seemed more like a mixture of a crackhouse and mental asylum. Except that there were no therapists or guards to restrain the patients, they were left to their own devices.

With swords.

And gear that could send them flying through the air at over 50 miles an hour in all directions, up and down included.

And they were left in an old, possibly structurally deteriorating castle in which to use their newfound ‘toys’.

Some days Erwin was certain the general populace was correct, and the Scouting Legion really was just for getting rid of the insane that no normal person wanted to deal with.

And the fact that he was leading them said a lot about him as a person. (What it said he dare not contemplate.)

He distantly heard what sounded to be a crash, followed by the cries of spooked horses. More laughter. Was that fire?

Erwin groaned again, head thunking back to his desk as he heard distant shouts beginning to arise from the rest of the castle, voices laden with sleep. Some of the papers were gusted off the desk with the force of his falling head, drifting ever so softly to rest upon the floor.

Erwin didn’t need to look behind him to know that he would see the beginning flickerings of a fire.

Thought it may have been the smoke that gave that one away.

~~~

All in all, it had actually been a fairly tame fire.

No one was harmed, and the damage was easily fixed with a few days hard work from some of the new recruits.

The new recruits called it hazing.

The veterans called it ‘we’re still too sore from last time so they get to do it.’

To be fair, both sides were accurate.

Things returned to normal afterwards, all things considered. Levi bitched but was content to not try and lop the scientist’s head off at every passing opportunity. Hange continued with her experiments and wild ideas, cooing over the possibility of the Rogue and Female having titan babies, which had been the focal point of her earlier scrapped idea. The one that had initially been being argued against by Levi until the woman took the argument one step too far and somehow wound up zipping around the grounds with a torch in her hand for light.

The torch that had caused the fire.

She had given up on her initial idea, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t still bursting with others. Levi, of course, had to be on the receiving end of them.

“What if we made them a romantic dinner?”

“Hange, titans eat nothing but humans, and they don’t eat humans. Therefore, I’m pretty sure they don’t eat and a dinner would be pointless.”

“Ah, but it’s not the meal itself that makes the romance, it’s the environment.”

“You’re still not making titan-sized candles.”

“But what if they were human-scented?”

“Well apparently they thought it pretty rude last time.”

“Touche.”

~~~

“Okay no but hear me out.”

“Oh dear Goddess strike me dead.”

“Okay no but think about it, seriously, what if we put them in a situation where one needs to save the other and bam! Instant relationship increase. They fall in love and then boom! Titan babies.”

“Hange.”

“Nothing makes you fall in love with someone more than being rescued from certain peril and then being held in their strong, steamy, muscled arms as they whisper sweet nothings of how you’re safe now.”

“I’m pretty sure I know exactly what you’re thinking but I don’t want to know which one it is.”

“Well since you asked-”

“I really didn’t.”

~~~

Levi had taken to wearing earplugs at one point.

Hange continued rattling on anyways.

He didn’t get to hear her fascinating theories on titan genitalia.

He would have been glad for this had he known the topic of conversation.

Even without knowing, he was still glad.

~~~

But it was during the final rest day before the next expedition that Hange actually managed to talk about the two hulking giants without running off on a tangent.

“Well you know, one good thing has actually come out of the two of them, at least!”

The shorter man sipped at his water, arm behind his head as he leaned up against the smooth wood of the tree trunk. His body shifted a little as he turned his head to peer ever so curiously at the woman next to him, sheet beneath him that shielded him from the soil below bunching up a little with the movements.

The bespectacled scientist grinned, taking another large, noisy bite of her sandwich.

Levi wrinkled his nose at the disgusting sounds, not for the first time wondering why he’d actually invited Hange to spend time with him on their last free day.

He could have spent it resting.

Or working (on paperwork, Erwin looked worse by the day).

Or cleaning.

Or basically doing anything that wasn’t listening to inane titan theories.

But someway, somehow, he still found himself naturally gravitating towards the woman’s company.

Friendship was weird.

But soon enough, as Humanity’s Strongest contemplated the dynamics of his interpersonal relationship with arguably the most insane of them all, said woman swallowed her bite of food and happily took a swig of her own drink (she’d tried to steal Levi’s, the butter knife momentarily found a new purpose as a weapon) before clearing her throat.

“Well, I mean we have managed to reclaim some seed stores, and the occasional rack of dried meat.”

She shrugged, raising the flash to her lips for another drink as she looked off over the field before the two of them.

“Admittedly, it’s not a lot, but every little bit of preserved rations helps, don’t you think? And we have managed to start regrowing some vegetables and fruits that were thought lost when Maria fell, that’s always a good thing!”

For once, the man could actually agree with her chatter about her favorite ‘children.’

“You’re not wrong, but it’s not as though we’ve reclaimed enough to begin growing crops on a scale large enough to even feed all of the Scouts.”

“Killjoy. Why can’t you just be happy about the little progress we’ve made?”

“It’s called realism.”

And it was true. There were a few food items that had been thought lost with so many lives, but the Scouts had managed to find enough seeds, and crops going wild (and untouched by wildlife) to manage to harvest just enough to start a garden of sorts on the ground of their base. Like Levi had said, it wasn’t even enough for every Scout to be able to enjoy the spoils, but it was better than nothing.

As much as it pained him to admit to his ‘friend’ being correct about something, it was still true. Even the smallest amount of conserved rations helped in the long run. And besides, tending to a garden gave soldiers something to do other than think about how they were almost inevitably going to die in a few days, weeks, or months, depending on the point in time. Cultivating life tended to help distract one from death.

Until one of the plants died and everyone broke down crying.

That was one of the times Levi was certain they should have just given the seeds and plants to local farmers instead.

Almost as if right on cue, Hange promptly plucked a small stem of broccoli from her packed lunch, looking at the small vegetable with a wide grin. (Oh Goddess there was sandwich in her teeth.)

“See! I could’ve been eating rations for lunch! Instead, I have a miniature tree.”

“Hange those were supposed to be saved for the expedition where did you even get that.”

“The stores, duh.”

_”Hange.”_

~~~

But it was during the expedition, that Levi would begin to wish Hange had just eaten all of the damn broccoli before they left.

Soon out of the gate, the Scouts found themselves with an ever curious entourage. Well, one of them was curious. The Female looked like she was only here to make sure the Rogue didn’t get himself killed.

Looking at Hange, Levi had never empathized with a titan more than he did at that moment.

Most of the Scouts had sobbed with relief, realizing that the company they had gained would mean a much higher likelihood of them returning home alive. Some of them even dared to hope they would return wholly intact as well. Others didn’t try to cling to such hopes.

It wasn’t as though the presence of the two ‘abnormals’ stopped titans from coming near to them. The two seemed to be some sort of natural titan repellent, true, but the large clustering of humans was like a drug to the mindless giants, and although they came in smaller numbers than if they had been lacking in the presence of the two intelligent titans, they came nonetheless.

Levi had already unsheathed his blades and stood up upon his horse's back in preparation to confront the approaching abnormal when a piercing shriek rang throughout the area, and the awkwardly running beast was suddenly struck down by 14 meters of pure muscle and undying rage.

But it seemed that even the watchful woman had failed to notice the abnormal lurking in the trees. (Levi didn’t want contemplate the implications of how it had gotten up there.)

There was a pained shriek that was far worse than any battle cry as the Female suddenly found the jaws of one of her kin sinking into the flesh of her shoulder. The Rogue’s head snapped around, but he had been preoccupied with a collapsed house at a point a fair distance from the other side of the regiment than the Female was on.

The abnormal released it’s grip, but had it’s scrawny arms swung tight around the Female’s neck with terrifying security, legs wrapped around her waist. She reached back to claw at the beast, but couldn’t quite reach the nape as she screamed in what, for the first time, sounded like genuine terror.

Levi understood why as he saw the mindless abnormals jaws beginning to sink into the flesh around the Female’s nape. For a moment, he thought he heard a crunching sound that couldn’t have been brought on by anything nearby, but he was overwhelmed by the sound of racing footsteps and the furious roar of the Rogue as the other titan charged.

But Levi knew he would never make it in time.

Another reason that the man failed to fully process the crunching sound he heard was due to the whirring of his own 3DMG, and the satisfying sound of hissing titan flesh as he drew his blades through the abnormals neck.

He wasn’t going to lie and claim he didn’t feel unfathomable relief as he saw the ugly beast drop off of one of their greatest allies. He came to a stop in a nearby tree, watching as the Female remained standing where she was, hand covering her nape and knees bent as they had been when she was still supporting the other titan’s weight.

For a moment, Levi swore he saw the glimmer of something that almost looked crystalline, but he was too distracted by the pounding footsteps of the approaching titan.

The Scouts had scattered when the Female was attacked, each of them with blades drawn and looking ready to take to the air, and Levi had no doubt that they would have had they been faster and the event were not already over. Their organization was in disarray, even more so due to the fact that they had been feeling relatively safe in the accompaniment of their guardians, and had allowed themselves to fall into a dim sense of security.

But they were all on edge now, and easily parted like panicking flies when the Rogue came barreling through, nearly crashing into his companion with roars turned whimpers and cries.

Levi felt the tension of the situation immediately vanish as he saw the giant brat throw his arms around the Female’s torso and shoulders, clinging to her like a scared child, whimpering quietly as he seemed to hold her far tighter than should have been comfortable. The Female seemed to refuse to remove her hand from her nape, from which was still pouring steam, but she did raise her free hand to lightly pat the dark locks on top of her companion’s head.

Levi didn’t have to hear Hange’s squeal to know it had happened all the same, he knew her well enough. Probably something about how, “They really were so special! So clearly intelligent! And with emotions too! Erwin we need to capture them for study!”

“No, Hange.”

Scratch that, he knew both Hange _and_ Erwin well enough to hear the conversation exactly as it played out.

But he too was relieved to see the Female’s arm still moving, albeit trembling with what was undoubtedly fear, but so very alive.

~~~

He had honestly thought that the two were going to retreat to whatever they called home after the incident, genuinely convinced that they were going to seek a place of safety and comfort after a near death experience. But for whatever reason, they seemed to be sticking closer than ever.

Hange teased about it seemed that they were too afraid to go home without their brave savior Levi. Levi valiantly ignored her, and the vague signs that she may not be too far off the mark.

The Female was… uncomfortably within what he called his personal space when it came to the two titans. Perhaps the space between them wouldn’t have been too disagreeable were they both humans, but only one of them was. He could practically feel the heat coming off of her insanely hot (temperature-wise) body.

The Rogue was somewhere in the distance, poking and prodding at something or another while Hange squealed in excitement. And quite frankly he didn’t particularly care what she was up to either.

At first, his Squad among others had been incredibly fascinated by the sheer closeness the Female was keeping to him, and had found sitting by him as they ate their dinner something close to awe-inspiring as they watched the way she never took her eyes off of the much smaller being.

But soon, they were distracted by the crazed antics happening nearby, and Levi was finally left to eat in relative peace.

His stomach was twisted, and he felt almost ill. He wasn’t sure why, it wasn’t as though it had been the first time he had nearly watched someone die.

And it wasn’t as though he hadn’t seen others die as well.

He swallowed, pretending he didn’t taste bile as he thought about the events of earlier, clutching his still uneaten meal with whitening knuckles. He kept his face impassive.

Perhaps it was that he hadn’t quite realized how much he had subconsciously come to rely on the two hulking giants, how much they seemed invincible when compared to the small, weak, little humans. He hadn’t realized that they too could be the victims of a cruel fate, and that while far more difficult, they too could be killed.

And one of them nearly had.

If it weren’t for these two, there would be far more titans roaming the lands, of that Levi had no doubt.

If it weren’t for these two, they wouldn’t have had the time to gather seeds from destroyed villages, titans kept at bay by the two hulking beasts.

If it weren’t for these two… he didn’t want to think about how high the death tolls used to be when compared to now.

He didn’t realize he had begun to shake from the force of the tension that built within him, stomach ready to expel its acids as the unease within him had his hands clenched so tightly his whole fingers were turning white, until he felt something touch him, a whisper of a brush as something grazed his sleeve before continuing onwards.

Something far larger than anything a human or horse could bare.

He suddenly regretted having removed his 3DMG in preparation to bed for the night earlier as he saw bony white fingers lightly encircle his form.

(How could he have forgotten that he sat in the presence of a titan? How had he not noticed the hand’s approach?)

He went still, certain he was about to die, crushed by one he had fought to save.

Until his head was forced downwards just a little by a tap on top of it, a touch almost impossibly gentle for the beast it must have come from.

For there was no other logical explanation as to what had touched him, but the thought made no sense, even as he saw the fingers uncurling and distantly heard the soft groan of flesh as the Female withdrew her hand.

He couldn’t help the hand that went to touch the top of his scalp, head turning to look behind him at the massive giant with an expression that bore nothing but befuddlement.

She was smiling, sort of. It was a soft upturn of the lips, almost lost in the shadows that was her bowed head, almost hidden behind the knees she had drawn up to her chest and the folded arms that rested atop them.

But it was still there. And blue eyes were fixed on his form.

The two simply stared at one another for a time, before Levi noticed an almost imperceptible tremor race down the titan’s form.

His eyes uncharacteristically softened.

“I know that I’m still alive, but remember that you’re still alive too. You almost died, but you didn’t, you’re all the wiser for it, and that’s what matters.”

That face gave no response, but those eyes flicked to a point that wasn’t Levi, and that head came to rest against those arms as if the Female was hugging herself tighter in hopes to reassure her own self.

Levi didn’t know how to react, so he simply went to work on his dinner.

~~~

He was about halfway through the meal when the titan finally turned her attention back to him. He knew this because he suddenly found a shadow cast over him, and looked up mid-bite to see blue eyes hovering over him, peering down at the meal in his lap. He paused in chewing, before slowly starting up again as he kept his face impassive.

“I’m eating, you’ve seen humans do that before. It’s nothing new.”

But still, those eyes stayed glued to the food.

“What, do you want some?”

The titan made no indication that she understood, but her head did tilt to the side a little, blonde hair swinging softly as she watched. Levi simply raised the container, allowing her to get a better look.

“See? Just food.”

But instead of seeming satisfied, Levi then found a finger pointing to his meal, that same curious expression on the titan’s face.

Confused, the man looked to his food, spearing a piece of chicken on a fork and raising it above his head.

“Just chicken.”

He popped it into his mouth, but the finger kept pointing more insistently. He looked back down, frowning. He knew for a fact she ought to recognize the potatoes and bread chunks after all this time, and the only other thing here was-

Broccoli.

Which they had only just reclaimed as a viable food source and sent out with the rations for this expedition.

Setting his fork down, the man grabbed the vegetable, ignoring the slimy feeling of the steamed plant as he held it up for the titan to inspect, finding that he had been correct as the hand now lowered, the face leaning closer instead as blue eyes focused intently on the plant.

“This is broccoli, it's a plant, we eat this.”

She didn’t seem to be listening at all, but for some reason, he wasn’t surprised when he saw her lowering her hand, palm up to rest next to him, asking. He deposited the plant in her hand without a word.

He could only watch with a befuddled expression as the muscled titan somehow managed to manipulate her hands to where she held the impossibly small (by comparison) plant between her fingertips, the thing miraculously still whole.

Blue eyes were focused on it as if it was the most fascinating thing in the damn world.

Levi had a bad feeling as he suddenly both heard and felt footsteps, and was soon to see the Rogue approaching from wherever he had been. The feeling grew worse when he saw the Female raise the plant to the Rogue, proffering it to him to view as he knelt down next to her. The bad feeling grew tenfold as he saw the Rogue’s eyes widening in awe, and heard Hange squealing. (Where had she even come from?)

~~~

“Hange why in the name of the Goddesses would you plant those two brats a broccoli garden, you know they’re not going to be able to care for it!”

“But Levi, they just seem to love it so much! They just keep looking at the little plants, sniffing them, and picking them up and messing with them. Let them have their fun!”

“They’re fucking obsessed.”

“They’ve seen forests that are their size, forests that are human-sized, let them enjoy the fascination and wonder that is a miniature forest for ants! It makes them happy to see such tiny trees!”

“It’s like a fucking cat toy for them isn’t it.”

~~~

"Hey Levi, do you think normal titans would like broccoli too?"

"Let's stop that train of thought right there, shall we?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was eating broccoli and there was literally no train of thought to this one. At least the initial idea had a plot outline this literally just happened as it happened I have no idea what is even going on.
> 
> Progression of this chapter: Humor --> Humor --> Sort of angst and strange bonding between Annie and Levi? --> Fuck it, more Humor
> 
> Don't ask because I don't have answers.
> 
> But I do have the starting line for Chapter 3, which also has no current outline but is going to happen for the sole reason that I need to write at least one more chapter so it can be opened with this:
> 
> Levi was not joking when he told Hange he was going to ‘literally hit her with a fucking piano if she woke him up for some menial bullshit one more time.’
> 
> This has rapidly deviated from 'let's watch Eren and Annie be silly titans' and rapidly gone into 'let's have Levi's daily words be 90% 'Hange no.'' I promise there will be more Eren and Annie later. If for the sole fact that I want Levi and Annie to somehow wordlessly bond over having to keep their unofficial charges from getting themselves killed.
> 
> Also nearly 100 kudos and 1000 views you people are crawling out of the woodwork where are you even coming from.
> 
> Edit: Now with an additional two sentences at the end. *thumbs up*


	3. Grudges

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually two little shorts, but they are being grouped into the same update because they carry similar themes. ;)

**Petty:**

It was a well-known fact that the Rogue Titan was rather childish. He was easily fascinated by the smallest of things, and was often content to simply gurgle happily while rolling around on the ground, ripping at the grass or fallen leaves.

(The time Shitty Glasses had scraped together a Titan-sized pile of leaves during an autumnal expedition had been a nightmare of a task, but even Levi was hard-pressed to deny that the look of absolute delight and innocent joy on the Titan's face has been worth it. And if the battle-hardened veterans had been unable to resist getting into leaf fights by throwing around the foliage that had been gusted all over them from the Titan's impact, well, what Zackley didn't know wouldn't hurt him.)

It was also a well-known fact that he was in possession of a much sweeter demeanor than his female companion. This had been evident from the get-go, as the Female had reacted to Scouts surrounding her with no forewarning by mowing them down without hesitation, while the Rogue had only roared and attempted to run, not wanting to harm them. As time went on, their demeanors were allowed to shine through in other ways than their reaction to threats, and it was well known that one could capture the ear of a Titan to simply listen to you ramble about your day.

Need to vent? Go find the Rogue. Need to share something exciting? Go find the Rogue. Need to simply talk and be heard? Go find the Rogue. He may not have been able to respond, and there may have been great doubt that he really understood everyone's words, but the way his eyes stayed locked onto whomever was speaking, the way he made strange noises in return as if he was trying to answer, and the way he was at least capable of responding to voice tone in an appropriate manner really was therapeutic for many soldiers.

He was well-known to be a sweetheart, and had even been observed in mourning for soldiers who perished during expeditions.

But he was also a fully sentient being, a complex, self-aware one. And no self-aware individual was quite so one-dimensional as simply referring to him as a 'sweetheart' seemed to convey.

He had negative traits alongside his positive ones.

And one of these was that he could hold grudges for an immeasurable period of time.

This was a trait that for the most part, the vast majority of humanity went unaware of for years on end, it was only at the end of it all that things really came to fruition.

It had been a long war, but it was over now. They were finally free, and enjoying a well-deserved break on the beach. Many of the Scouts were playing in the waters, laughing like children at the waves and spitting out the salty taste with various grimaces. But they were still happy, to see something they had been denied for so long.

This section of the beach was tucked in next to the beginnings of a mountain range, and if one traveled far enough, one would see peaks that lifted above the clouds. Here, the beginnings of such an uneven landscape gave way to towering cliffsides, ones great enough that even the likes of the Titans could perch upon them without fear of the stone giving way.

Such is where the Female was standing, her toes kissing the lip of the cliff. She seemed to simply be staring off into the distance, simply watching the distant waves, the seagulls, the glistening waters on the horizon and the great expanse of blue sky. Her hair was tousled by the wind, and if one watched one would see her eyes slip shut for a moment as she took in a breath of salty air through her nose, her lips quirking in a smile at the smell.

The Scouts were rather far away in all truth, but due to the Titans's immense size they could still be seen from where the soldiers spent their free time along a flat section of the coast.

Great footprints dotted the sand, the work of the Female's male counterpart, who had been playing with them for quite some time, buffeting water and sand at the battle-scarred veterans with his powerful arms. Everyone's laughter had been carefree.

However, he seemed to have made the decision to join his counterpart a few minutes ago, and was slowly making his way up to her as of this moment.

One Levi Ackerman had rolled onto his side from where he lay sprawled out on a stretch of fabric, propping his head up with his hand as he watched to see what the Titan was getting up to.

The large brute had actually slowed his pace the closer he got to his target, and if Levi didn't know any better he'd say that the Titan was, in fact, _sneaking up_ on her.

It seemed to be working, shockingly enough. Usually her senses were good enough to spot trouble a mile away. But, perhaps it was the fact that she rarely considered her counterpart to be something dangerous that kept her oblivious, her senses not finding him enough of a threat to notify her of his approaching presence. Or perhaps she was too distracted by whatever it was that she was looking at out on the horizon.

Either way, she didn't turn to look at him. And it was unfortunate for her that she didn't.

He only had a moment to process what he was seeing, but just for a moment, Humanity's Strongest saw a look of dark mischief flicker across the Rogue Titan's face. An exact mimicry of a look he had seen before, but donned on a different visage.

_It was... an interesting day to say the least._

_No one was quite certain how the titanic duo had managed to get themselves tucked up into the treetops, but there they were._

_They seemed perfectly comfortable with it as well, the Rogue simply rolling onto his belly from where he was ensconced in the canopies of several behemoth trees, waving down with a pleased cry, seemingly excited to see everyone. The Female was reclined on her back, having found a massive tree that split apart enough where the branches began to spread at the top to rest her head, her hands tucked beneath her cranium and her eyes closed. Her legs were crossed and she seemed the utter epitome of someone lounging about in a hammock._

_The Rogue tucked his chin onto a branch as he watched the soldiers, leaving his arms to dangle down towards the ground. Levi was struck with the mental image of a jaguar from one of those old zoos lounging about in the treetops._

_Nothing happened for a time, the Scouts simply choosing to set up camp for the night, even though there was technically time left in the day to move onward. The Titans seemed content to stay where they were, and now that they had found the giants, they weren't keen to move on without them._

_They enjoyed a leisurely dinner, a rarity on an expedition. It seemed that the scents of the big, friendly giants was keeping other Titans at bay this time. No one was complaining._

_The mischief began when the Rogue heaved a mighty yawn, rattling the branches of his chosen headrest with his breath. His eyes were half-lidded and glazed with sleepiness as he lay there, staring off into nothingness in his exhausted stupor._

_It was a wonder how he was tired when he had been doing nothing but resting for so long._

_But as the sun went down, so too did his energy seem to dwindle. The giant's body tilted dangerously in the treetop, but he pulled himself back before his exhaustion could send him sprawling onto the ground. The Female sat up at his near tumble, leaning forward over her knees to watch him. The tree trunk creaked ominously as he slowly drew his arms and legs up underneath himself, drawing himself into four-limbed crouch atop the branches._

_As he perched there, seeming ready to get down, another involuntary yawn ripped through his form, his limbs shaking from the force of it._

_That was when the whole situation began, and it happened so fast one would miss it if they blinked._

_The Female's expression suddenly took on a dangerous glint, a smirk twisting at the corners of her lips. Her eyes glimmered with mischief._

_In an instant, before the Rogue could recover, one of her bony hands suddenly shot out, shoving against his shoulder._

_The Titan gave a startled yelp, the force of the push enough to send him careening over the edge of his precarious perch. For a moment, he was airborne, limbs flailing wildly as he search for purchase, meeting nothing but air. The earth shook with a great thud as he hit the ground, chest and chin pressed into the soil as his arms were splayed uselessly out before him. He had fallen with his stomach towards the tree trunk, and one of his feet had gotten caught in the notch where all the branches split. As such, his hips and belly were pressed snug against the tree trunk, one leg stuck in the tree and the other sprawled out uselessly on the ground like his arms and chest._

_The Female had her arm thrown over his mouth, and there was a strange noise rattling the treetops, like muffled laughter._

_The Rogue just looked shocked._

_Then, and only for a split second, a look crossed his face that promised **revenge.**_

Levi's mouth has just so helpfully formed itself into an 'oh' of realization before it all came to a head.

The earth was shaking with the rapid, heavy beats of a Titan's footsteps. In a single movement, the Rogue began sprinting forwards, closing the last few lengths between himself and his female counterpart. He seemed to hold in on himself, hunching down so that his skull was level with her midriff as he reached out with his arms. At the same time, the Female turned around, shock clear on her face and mouth opening as if to question what he was doing. She didn't even have time to react beyond that.

Just before The Rogue crashed into her, he pushed off from the ground into a forward lunge. He stepped a bit to the side as he collided with her, the side of his face against her side as his shoulder slammed into her abdomen, his arms locking themselves behind her back.

The two of them went flying off the cliffside as he tackled her into the ocean below, the water from their landing creating a surging tidal wave that spread out on all sides as they were submerged beneath the waves. All of the soldiers wound up soaked.

Let it never be said that just because the Rogue was a sweetheart, that it meant he couldn't hold a grudge spanning years as he waited. Waited for the perfect moment to get his revenge.

~~~

**Misunderstanding:**

The Female was rightly horrified when she saw that the Rogue had steam gushing from his eye. Even more so when she noticed the eyeball he held between his claws, examining it as it slowly evaporated.

She gave an incoherent screech of distress at the larger Titan who was sat cross-legged on the ground, Scouts milling about in the distance behind him. She gestured at his actions, a look of questioning horror upon her face.

The Rogue tilted his head, brow furrowing in confusion, before his eyes seemed to light up as he realized. His deep voice spoke in a grumbling tongue only they could understand, sounding like little more than a rumble to anyone else.

_'The long-haired one asked me to.'_

He had a bright smile on his face as he said this, remaining eye wholly unconcerned. The Female cast her gaze downwards, her lips moving subtly as she processed who this 'long-haired one' could be.

Steel-blue eyes took on a glint akin to the metal their color resembled, and she turned on her heel without a word, taking off into a paced run that carried her away from the soldiers and her counterpart. The Rogue looked on in confusion, not understanding where she was headed. But he still acquiesced and gave one Hange Zoe the organ he had soundly plucked from his head when she brought the cart up for him to deposit it in, the will he had exerted on it before removing it causing it to decay at a slower rate.

He didn't personally have a problem with her asking him to do this, sure it hurt but only for a moment, his body cutting off the pain once healing began. And it wasn't like it wouldn't rapidly grow back. It was the equivalent to him of someone asking a human to pluck some strands of hair from their head for research purposes. It hurt, but not for long and it came back.

So he was perfectly fine with donating the organ the scientist had requested for study, she hadn't exactly pushed him into it, the decision being of his own volition.

He did still wonder where the Female had run off to, she didn't show back up for several days.

~~~

_A very long way away from the walls:_

A Titan covered in dark fur with the appearance of an ape turned around at the sound of running footsteps approaching. His impossibly long arms began to raise themselves to greet the familiar figure he saw charging towards him, before he paused, brow furrowing.

She looked mad, and what was she carrying-?

There was no more time to think as the Female suddenly launched the old, human-shaped piñata at the larger Titan, having finally found a use for the old thing after all this time. The Beast Titan lurched a bit, both startled and, well, the Female had a strong throw.

_'BEAST!'_

He cried out in shock as she suddenly tackled him to the ground, beginning to wrestle with him as she tried to pin him down.

_'YOU LEAVE BABY BROTHER ALONE!'_

_'WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?'_


	4. AU - From Teacher To 'Eren, I Swear To The Goddesses'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shifters!AU for Angel_Of_Darkness4444 (whose account now appears to be deactivated but this shall be published in your memory!) and DragonessOfNight who seconded the request for a shifters!AU of Annie and Eren's antics. xD
> 
> I do intend for this collection to be primarily centered in the Gods of War universe, but figured I might as well take requests since I've been getting the inspiration for them!
> 
> Next on the to-do list: (In no particular order)
> 
> \- The two things Sefi's showed me  
> \- A romance/Titan baby short or two for ShadowsofInsanity ;) (since while they turned out to be siblings in the Gods of War universe, I _do_ ship them and someone mentioned a desire for Titan babies  <3)
> 
> Again, this fic will still center around Annie and Eren interactions, and primarily Female/??? and Rogue/Attack/??? interactions from the Gods of War series, but will now include the occasional little snippets of requested AUs. :D

"C'mon Annie, it'd be good for both of you!"

"One, he's more likely to kill me than anything else, so quite clearly it would _not be good for me._ And two, as far as Eren is concerned it would most likely damage his mental state even further, making it _very much so not good for him_ and consequently _less good for us._ "

"You can kick his ass any day!"

"When he's thinking clearly, yes."

"What, think you can't take him?"

"Funnily enough, no. No, I _don't_ think I can handle pure, psychotic rage and come out unscathed."

"Aw, you're underestimating yourself! Tell her Bert!"

"Reiner, I don't think-"

"Neither of you think and that's the problem with this insane plan of yours."

It hadn't _just_ been Reiner's plan after all.

It was the quiet ones you had to watch out for.

(Annie was well aware that applied to her as well, but it did not stop her from being frustrated with the much, _much_ taller shifter.)

"For the last time, _no_ , I will _not_ reveal my secret to Eren, I will _not_ 'teach him the ways of the shifters', as it was so... _eloquently_ put, and I will _not_ , I repeat, will _**not**_ put myself in a situation where I am face-to-face with the Coordinate who is _very_ likely to attempt to kill me rather than listen to whatever I may have to say."

She got a few breaths of blessed silence, it seemed she'd finally gotten through their thick skulls why this was a bad idea.

"Well, you know he likes you, you know, if anyone could do it it'd be you."

Or the density of Reiner's armor plating applied to the density of his skull as well.

"He does not 'like' me-"

"Not _like_ like, oh no, no, that's Bert. Eren likes you as a potential friend, acquaintance currently, who is really skilled in a field he is not in and wants to learn more about. You make an excellent teacher and provide a wealth of knowledge for him, so therefore he likes you."

"Oh for the love of the Walls if he really wants to learn martial arts he can ask the instructor, I'm sure Shadis damn well knows enou- wait, hold on, what was that about Bertholdt?"

The tall teen was sweating profusely.

Reiner just waved it off, one hand on his hap as he carried on, gesturing with seemingly his whole body as the trio had their 'secret' conversation behind the barracks while the other trainees were at the mess hall.

"Not important."

"Oh I think it's very important, Reiner-"

Bertholdt looked like he was overheating as Annie tried to wring more information out of their mutual, thick-headed companion.

"Not at all! What _is_ important is that you _know_ that we need to get Eren on our side."

Reiner's voice suddenly dropped a pitch or two, his expression focusing as his eyes narrowed. He wasn't just rambling about a half-assed plan to convince the local hot-head to like them, this was serious. The other two members of the group unconsciously found their attention undivided as they focused on him, the natural aura he gave off in these moments catching the attention of all nearby as his body language made it very clear that 'I am a leader, I am in charge, you will listen to me because what I have to say is worthwhile.'

"You also know that neither Bertholdt or I could do this, because he's already seen us."

His voice dropped to a murmur just above a whisper.

"It's our fault he lost everything, and he wouldn't be able to look past that and see what we have to offer."

His eyes focused on Annie.

She shifted a little, trying to project an air of annoyance and disinterest even as she instinctively clung to every word he had to offer.

"But _you_ , Eren Yaeger has _no idea_ who the Female Titan is or what associates she has. He'd be suspicious, he wouldn't trust you at first, but he'd eventually listen to _you_."

Annie scowled as she realized every point he made was valid. She glared off into the distance as if she could set the barracks on fire by snarling at them fierce enough.

They all knew she'd silently agreed to do it.

She didn't respond to Reiner's whispered words.

"Because you're not the one with the blood of his family on your hands."

They all pretended the words were never said, and no one ever brought it up later.

(Even if Bertholdt had to make room in his bunk that night to envelop a large boy, not a man, still just a boy, who had silent sobs of guilt racking his form. Not crying because he wanted someone to help him, otherwise he would have bawled, but crying because he couldn't keep it inside anymore.)

~~~

It didn't go quite as badly as she'd first thought it would. Only 4 near death experiences at the hands of a berserk shifter was actually lowballing what she'd been anticipating.

She'd thought he'd at least break into the double digits before he finally cooled down enough to listen to her.

And eventually, it seemed that as long as she didn't reveal her connections to the others, he was more than happy to learn from her.

Although sometimes, she began to wonder if she was the _only_ one he was learning anything from, because he _really_ didn't seem to grasp the most basic of concepts at times.

They'd managed to craft a crude catapult out of tree trunks and vines, an exercise in dexterity and focus for them both. (Annie handled most of the knot tying, Eren just held everything in place while she worked. He was also getting better at wood carving with his claws, to both of their pleasant surprise. Her crystal was still superior at the task, however.)

Green eyes were sparkling with excitement as the teen loaded a boulder into the Titan-sized catapult, making sure it was secure before turning to the other shifter with an eager look in his eyes.

Annie gestured to the device with a hand, answering the question he couldn't ask with his Titan's malformed mouth. (He was slowly figuring out speech, but right now his 'speech' sounded more like dying cats than anything else.)

"Now you launch it."

She had been prepared to shield her arms in crystal so she could safely block her face in case the boulder accidentally got launched in her direction.

She had not been expecting Eren to immediately heft up the entire catapult and hurl it as far forwards as he could.

Annie blinked once.

Twice.

Three times.

There were no words she could say as the catapult gave a nasty crash in the distance, everything collapsing as it crumpled in on itself, leaving a decent-size indent in the ground where it lay.

The female shifter brought her hands together before her face, touching the fingertips together as she bowed her head and touched the ends of her fingers to her lips.

She took a deep breath.

Then another.

"Allow me to elaborate."

~~~

Eren had been thrilled with the idea of having a picnic in Maria during one of their rare days off. And that had been how one Annie Leonhart found herself seated up in the canopy of the forest of giant trees, munching on stolen rations with an unlikely... friend.

Yes, she was fairly certain she could use the word friend to refer to her companion, now. Initially, it had been teacher and student, but over time their bond had slowly developed into something like friendship. She hadn't completely lied when telling him about her past, she had been forced into the life of a shifter to protect her father. She just hadn't been telling him the whole truth. He had seemed willing to let the lack of details go, seeming to understand that it could be difficult to talk about one's past.

But he seemed to understand anyways, even if she never told him everything. He seemed to understand that she didn't really want the life she led, and he empathized with her for it.

"I'm pretty sure it was my dad, you know, that gave me these powers."

She already knew that.

Zeke had told them that his father, who was also Eren's father, had been the one holding the powers Eren now held.

Of course he had gotten them from him.

She acted surprised anyway.

Eren shrugged, looking a bit uncomfortable as he uncrossed then re-crossed his legs the other way.

"I just have bits and pieces of memories... of him... _injecting_ me with something. And it's the only explanation I can think of."

He pulled his knees to his chest, crossing his arms atop them and tucking his head behind them.

Annie shifted awkwardly where she sat, not really sure what to say. She wasn't the best with emotions, and so she just raised her canteen to her lips to take another sip, choosing to hide behind her own hair instead.

She didn't say anything when she came and sat down next to him at dinner the following night, silently setting her bread on his tray before continuing to eat without a word. From the slight upturn of his lips when she glanced at him from under her fringe, she didn't have to.

~~~

_"What do you mean you left it on the counter?"_

Annie's voice was as hushed as was possible for her titan form as she hunched over to hide her chest, slowly dragging her feet towards the Scouts in the distance while still keeping the sun to her back.

_"I thought you were bringing it!"_

Eren was crouched on the ground, creeping about on all fours like an Abnormal as the duo tried to blend in to the background, trying to avoid detection by the Scouting Regiment.

They had just been out for another day of training, when it seemed they'd been stumbled upon by the Scouts. With no time to abandon their titan forms, they had to do their best to blend in to the background and keep their distance until the Regiment passed them by. Annie stayed in front of the sun, using the bright light to hide the abnormalities of her lack of skin, while keeping her shoulders hunched and head bowed to hide her face and distinctively female chest. Eren had decided that two hunched over titans would be too weird, so he dropped to all fours, keeping his head cocked at an angle so that his hair would fall before his face, hiding his teeth. And this way, with his torso close to the ground, no one would be able to see the extreme musculature he possessed, and any muscles in his limbs would be misconstrued as only being visible because of the awkward stretch of his position.

Both of them were slowly hobbling towards the Scouts, maintaining a pace that was admittedly slower than a regular titan's, but wanting to try and stay as far away as possible. They didn't want to look _too_ weird by ignoring the passing humans and showing no desire to catch them, but they most certainly didn't want to get too close. So they settled for as close to a middle ground as possible.

Of course, despite the extreme tension of their current situation, there was still an unrelated, secondary tension to be found between the two.

Annie had given Eren her ODMG the night before, telling him to bring it with them the next day so that she could show him a few new tricks that were better performed in her normal gear, than in the extra set she had stored in Maria.

Eren had not brought the gear.

Or at least, that's what she thought had happened.

She rolled her eyes, not even bothering to fight the sneer as she tried not to toss her head about too much, lest her sudden change in behavior draw too much attention.

_"Well... this is just **wonderful.** "_

The two shifters kept their hissed argument to as low a volume as possible, but they were still praying that the Scouts would move on quickly, lest they be heard. For now, the Regiment was ignoring them, choosing to only deal with the Titans that were closest and posed the most immediate threat and ignoring the ones further off in the distance, Annie and Eren included.

Well, at least it seemed they hadn't noticed anything about the two titans in the distance worth investigating.

A good thing for the two shifters, since they couldn't seem to keep their frustration with each other in check long enough to keep them innocuous.

_" **I** handled getting us passed the guard, you were supposed to bring your gear, **remember**?"_

Now that he said it, she almost thought she could remember it now. Could remember the conversation last night as being different from what she'd first thought it was. But she was hardly one to admit when she's made a mistake, and so she blustered her way through her own error in the hopes of completely ignoring it.

_"Well, we can't make it back to camp without our gear!"_

Some time later, after the Scouts had moved on and the two were left alone once more, their argument had devolved into the two of them sitting on opposite sides of a tree, arms crossed and resolutely staring in front of them, refusing to even acknowledge the other's presence.

Annie closed her eyes as she spoke over her shoulder at the other shifter, not even wanting to look at him.

"Next time, you can just bring your own gear, and I'll bring _mine_."

The other titan gave a mixture of a huff and a snort, looking the opposite direction she had so that the back of his head was still to her, even with her head turned over her shoulder.

_"Fine."_

~~~

They hadn't managed to escape detection by the Scouts forever, but it had been inevitable, really. They both knew it.

What neither of them were anticipating, was Eren's apparent _love_ of fucking with them.

_"Quick, Annie, lay down on the ground. Quietly."_

_"Why are you whispering?"_

_"Just do it the Scouts are coming."_

She cast the other shifter a concerned look, before shuffling her titan about until she could lay down on the ground, just managing to find a way to get 14 meters of flesh on the ground without making too much noise.

It was only her great experience of dealing with Eren's complete idiocy that kept her from flipping their positions and wrestling him into a lock when he suddenly just about laid himself down on top of her. She was still about ready to demand what the hell he thought he was doing, but the 15 meter quickly laid a hand over her mouth, casting his gaze towards the field behind her.

If she listened, she could hear the sound of hooves.

The Scouts were approaching.

Eren removed his hand from her mouth, and went back to basically straddling her, looking down at her with a shit-eating grin (or as much of one as he was capable) on his face.

She had a feeling she knew what he was doing.

"LEVI OH MY GODDESSES COME LOOK!"

"What the hell are you talking about Shitty Gla-OH MY WALLS WE'RE LEAVING."

"BUT LEVI-"

"I DON'T CARE WHAT THE HELL YOU THINK YOU CAN LEARN FROM THIS, I REFUSE TO WATCH THOSE TWO BRATS FUCKING."

"BUT LEVI-"

"LEAVING!"

When the Scouts had disappeared and Eren sat back to allow Annie to sit up, the female shifter could only stare at her companion.

He gave an overjoyed smile at her as he sat on his heels, seeming perfectly pleased with how events had unfolded. She raised a finger, opening her mouth as if to say something. She closed her mouth, before opening it again as if to give whatever she was going to say another go.

Still nothing, and she just threw her hands in the air with a sigh.

Eren was practically howling with laughter.

Annie walked off and refused to speak to him for the next three days, both in Maria and in camp.

~~~

Annie seemed to get along with Levi the best.

Eren called it 'the bonding of short people.'

Eren became really good at dodging Annie's roundhouse kicks.

~~~

"...Where did you get that."

"Get what?"

"Eren."

The other shifter gave a wholly innocent grin. Annie crossed her arms, a look that displayed a complete lack of impression crossing the face of the female titan.

"Eren."

The abnormal titan with vicious jaws was looking at everywhere but the other shifter in front of him, as if by pretending he couldn't see her she wouldn't be able to see him.

"Eren."

The other titan rocked back and forth on his heels, hands still clasped behind his back.

"Eren, why did you steal the Scouts carts."

"No, okay, but listen-"

"Eren, I don't care, just put them back."

"But Ann-!"

_"Now."_

~~~

"Eren, if you do not return the Scouts horses before dawn I _will_ tell Shadis."

"And give up your own secret as well?"

"That is a sacrifice I'm willing to make."

~~~

The secret came out when the two shifters were lounging about with the Scouting Regiment, several soldiers warming themselves on the titans heated flesh while the two shifters sunbathed quite contentedly. For just a moment, Annie forgot that they had company as she gave a quiet grunt to get her companion's attention. Eren cracked open a sleepy eye.

"We should probably head back soon."

Neither of them seemed to realize what she had just done at first, Eren giving a soft, affirming grunt before yawning, agreeing with her statement and beginning to rouse himself from his drowsy stupor.

It was only when he blinked open his eyes again and the many Scouts surrounding the duo came back into focus that he saw their reactions.

Complete silence.

Complete shock as the Scouts stared at the two titans.

Annie went rigid as she realized what had happened. It took Eren a moment longer as the last dredges of slumber still clung to his mind.

The two shifters slowly shifted so that way they were no longer directly in contact with any soldiers, and all members of the Scouting Regiment were safely on the ground.

"OH MY GO-!"

The two shifters had never moved so fast.

They didn't go back out into Maria until after graduation.

~~~

Annie joined the Scouting Regiment to both Eren's complete expectation and complete surprise.

"What, didn't think I'd come with you?"

"Well, yes, but I thought you wanted to join the Military Police. I thought maybe we'd just meet up every now and then to continue training."

A rare smile, small as it was, but still a smile, broke out on the blonde teen's face. She rarely initiated physical contact, but she still bumped her shoulder against her taller... friend.

"C'mon, we're in this together."

~~But they weren't. They never would be. He didn't know, didn't know the truth.~~

~~But for now, she could pretend that it was real.~~

~~~

And of course, their secrets were revealed to the Scouts in the most ridiculous way possible.

Well, Annie's was.

Eren's had been revealed when he had to shift in order to prevent Mikasa from being killed by an unexpected Aberrant, and he had no regrets over his choice. He was allowed to stay in the Regiment after elaborating on his story, that he hadn't known about his powers until the Female Titan had shown him. That he didn't know anything that could help them. He still refused to give Annie up to them through it all.

She couldn't help the small smile at his trust in her.

He was just barely deemed trustworthy enough to be allowed to stay, and Annie had to wonder if that was the correct judgement call.

After all, he was rather vicious in his attitude towards titans, and surely had the potential be a detriment to the missions with his reckless, dangerous mannerisms.

But then he revealed her secret by leading the Scouts to her when she was in titan form, practicing kicks in the forest of giant trees.

"Damn, Annie! Back at it again with the martial arts!"

No, maybe it was the wrong decision because he was _a fucking idiot._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've always seen Reiner as something of a leader-type when he's being serious and isn't playing the soldier role. Especially among the Titan trio, I imagine they looked up to him quite a bit even if they didn't fully realize it, that he was the closest thing they had to a leader when on their mission.
> 
> I also can never seem to resist sprinklings of angst whenever the flow of the scene takes me there. "Let's write cute fluffy scenes that show the strength of bonds different characters have with each other!" "Let's throw in 2-3 sentences at the end of those scenes to make them _hurt._ " _"It's perfect."_
> 
> *'Everybody hurts' plays in the background*
> 
> ~~lowkey calling out Rogue for trying to blend into the background to avoid detection but was the only titan that ignored the Scouts and so got caught because he wasn't acting like a normal titan even as he made himself look like one~~
> 
> ~~you can't just look like the enemy, buddy, you gotta act like them too~~
> 
> I love writing about relationships where one person is endlessly annoyed with the other if the surplus of Levi/Hange interactions in previous chapters didn't indicate this.


End file.
